Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
