the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
love makes seman taste better
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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