i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
