Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
