My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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