TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
