her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
All the doctor said was why
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
