i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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