his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
