Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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