like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
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