Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
