I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
