I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize