Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
