After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just took my morning after pill in the library
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Randomize
