I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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