You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
