yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We named our party play list daddy issues
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
