i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize