What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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