some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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