I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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