i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
