I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
