Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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