Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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