I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
