so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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