New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
