Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
