I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
