Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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