3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
