Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
