Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
