Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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