i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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