A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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