i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Randomize
