She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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