i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
