Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
