Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
