I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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