found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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