There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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