Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
