I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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