I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
