did you get engaged???
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
