i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
