I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
