im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
