Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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