Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
