my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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