Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
