O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
