I must be too annoying 4 u.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
