He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
